?

Log in

This is Marriage In Islam

> recent entries
> calendar
> friends
> profile

Tuesday, August 22nd, 2006
12:11 am - Young, Hip, and Muslim?

american_muslim
Salaam Aleykoom!

I'm a young American Muslim who is sick and tired of only hearing about Islam in headlines. So I've started a new line of clothing and gifts that is geared towards young, modern Muslims who are ready to make their own headlines. Some political, some funny, some religious, and lots of ARABIC! So check it out, please spread the word if you dig it, and check in periodically for new designs.

And if you like it, WEAR IT WITH PRIDE!

American Muslim

Shukran!!

(comment on this)

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006
8:37 pm - HijabMan Personals: Find your Steady Muslim Buddy :-)

malehijab
http://hijabman.com/journal/hijabman-personals

“We enter every marriage by articulating a covenant with God. But either this covenant is a mere formality or it has actual meaning. Doesn’t God say in reference to marriage, ‘And, we have taken from you a weighty covenant’ (4:21). God uses this same language when talking about a covenant with Israel (4:154) and a covenant with the prophets (33:7). So is the covenant of marriage as serious as a covenant with the prophets, or does God speak in Jest?”
—Khaled Abou El Fadl,Conference of the Books, 256

What is this about?

Simple. Some of my buddies need honeys, and some other buddies need hubbies. You have halal speed dating, a ridiculous amount of internet matrimonials, and now you have HijabMan Personals: Find your Steady Muslim Buddy (SMB)

See site linked above for more details :)

(comment on this)

11:56 am

r_u_a_penguin





Arranged Marriages, Forced Marriages

Islam recognises a marriage arranged by parents or relatives where the bride and groom have freely and willingly given their consent; indeed, consent on both parties to a marriage is a must. Without this a marriage is not valid.

This was made very clear by the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam). Khansa bint Khidhan al-Ansariya narrated that her father gave her in marriage when she was a matron (childless woman, divorcee or a widow) and she disliked that marriage. So, she went to Allah's Messenger (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and he declared the marriage null and void (al-Bukhari).

Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) narrated that the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) said, "A matron should not be given in marriage except after consulting with her (ie. getting her consent), and a virgin should not be given in marriage without her permission (consent)." (al-Bukhari)

There is no room for forced marriages in Islam. To force anyone into a marriage is not lawful in Islam. Freely-given consent is a basic requirement in Islamic marriage. No one should force either a male or a female into a marriage; even the parents who always want the best for their children should not force them into marriage in which they have not consented. Lack of the correct knowledge about Islam and insistence on local customs and culture may be the reason for doing un-Islamic things. Muslims should follow the teachings of the Quran and the Sunnah of the Prophet. There is nothing wrong in following local customs and culture if they do not violate Islamic Teachings.

Source:
"Islam: Beliefs and Teachings" - Ghulam Sarwar, pp 157-158

(comment on this)

Tuesday, February 7th, 2006
6:02 pm

_drivelikejehu
Hello,

I actually just joined this community, in hopes to find a better answer. I am a 20 year old, muslim, girl. I have been looking into Islam alot lately, to be able ot understand it better. I grew up outside my home country, and was raised around a non-muslim community.

I had a pretty big question about marriage in Islam.

I read somewhere, earlier :

A Muslim Man was allowed to marry a Non-Muslim Woman,
BUT,
A Muslim Woman was not allowed to marry a Non-Muslim man.


In a way I suppose it made sense, just the idea of the Male "head house-hold". Raising the kids, if the man was muslim and the wife was not- the kids would be raised under the mans religion.

Otherwise, if a muslim girl marrys a Christian man, then the "child-raising" factor becomes a problem.

___________________________________________

Also, if the man is converted? And then is married with a Muslim woman? Here, I can see the cultural aspect and connection being a problem. My mind is going crazy, I've thought about all these situations, but haven't been able to straight answers.

Any input would be highly appreciated, Thanks.

(3 comments | comment on this)

Monday, December 12th, 2005
9:29 am - Cooperation in Goodness Between Spouses

r_u_a_penguin
Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Al-Hashr (The Gathering)
Chapter 59: Verse 9


"But those who before them had homes (in Madina) and had adopted the Faith, show their affection to such as came to them for refuge, and entertain no desire in their hearts for things given to the (latter), but give them preference over themselves, even though poverty was their (own lot). And those saved from the covetousness of their own souls, they are the ones that achieve prosperity."

Al-Bukhari narrated in his collection that Abu Hurairah (radi Allahu anhu) said that a man came to the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) and said, "I'm exhausted and hungry."

The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) sent to his wives asking for food to feed this man. They all replied that they had no food at all. The Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam) asked the companions around him if one of them could host this hungry, tired man. One of the Ansar volunteered. He took the hungry man with him to his house. He asked his wife, "Do we have any food to feed the guest of Allah's messenger?"

"The only food we have is the children's food", the wife replied.

"Try to put the children to sleep without food and bring their food for the guest", the man said. He also asked her to turn the lamp light off so the guest wouldn't notice that the hosts were not eating with him. She did so and they were able to feed the guest. The next day, the Prophet (sal Allahu alayhi wa sallam)told the man that Allah was impressed with him and his wife's actions. Allah then revealed the above verse.

The above is a beautiful example of cooperation in goodness between husband and wife. No doubt, both helped each other with this wonderful act of hospitality and helped each other be closer to Allah and enhance the level of their faith.

When reading such examples it may seem obvious that this was the right thing for the couple to do, but when we stop and put ourselves in their shoes, it becomes evident how much they sacrificed with each act. Perhaps this can be roughly compared to a situation in our time: giving charity to the hungry and homeless. This couple sacrificed their children's dinner in order to feed their guest. The wife never protested at her husband's request. This is truly remarkable. By remembering these types of examples, when our spouses suggest that we donate money to the poor, instead of thinking about the computer we are saving up for or the vacation we would like to take, we may be able to support our spouses and ourselves in strengthening our faith.

Source:
"Blissful Marriage, A Practical Islamic Guide"
- Dr. Ekram and M. Rida Beshir, pp. 29-30

(comment on this)

Monday, September 26th, 2005
1:18 pm

_amatullah
How to make your Husband happy ?
Posted byWebmaster on Tuesday, May 15 @ 23:56:05 ??
Contributed by Webmaster


The following article is a summary of the book "How to Make Your Husband Happy" by Sheikh Mohammed Abdelhaleem Hamed.

1. Beautiful Reception

After returning from work, school, travel, or whatever has separated you,

*

Begin with a good greeting.
*

Meet him with a cheerful face
*

Beautify and perfume yourself
*

Start with good news and delay any bad news until he has rested
*

Receive him with loving and yearning sentences
*

Make hard efforts for excellence of the food & having it ready on time.

2. Beautify and Soften the Voice

For your husband only, it shouldn't be used in front of non-mahram men (men who can marry you if you were unmarried)

3. Smelling Good and Physical Beautification

*

Take good care of your body and fitness.
*

Put on nice and attractive clothes and perfumes.
*

Bathe regularly and, after the monthly period, remove any blood traces or bad smells.
*

Avoid that your husband observes you in dirty clothes or rough shape
*

Avoid prohibited types of ornamentation, e.g. tatoos
*

Use the types of perfumes, colors, and clothes that the husband likes
*

Change hair style, perfumes, etc. from time to time However with these things you should avoid excessiveness and, of course only act as such in front of mahrem men and women.

4. Intercourse

*

Hasten for intercourse when your husband feels compulsion for it.
*

Keep your body clean and smelling good as possible including cleaning yourself of released fluids during intercourse.
*

Exchange loving phrases with your husband.
*

Leave your husband to fully satisfy his desire.
*

Choose suitable times and good occasions for exciting your husband and encouraging him to do intercourse, e.g. after returning from a travel, weekends, etc.

5. Satisfaction With What Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) Has Allotted

*

You shouldn't be depressed because your husband is poor or works in a simple job
*

You should look at poor, sick, and handicapped people and remember Allah (subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa) for all that was given to you.
*

You should remember that real wealth lies in faith and piety.

6. Indifference to Worldly Things

*

You should not consider this world as your hope and interest.
*

You should not ask your husband for many unnecessary things.
*

Asceticism does not mean not to enjoy what is good and permissible (Halal), but it means that one should look forward to the Hereafter and utilize whatever Allah SWT gave them to achieve paradise (Al-Jannah).
*

Encourage your husband to reduce expenses and save some money in order to give charity and feed poor and needy people.

7. Appreciation

*

By the saying of the Prophet (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), the majority of people in Hell were women because they were ungrateful and deny the good done to them.
*

The result of being grateful is that your husband will love you more and will do his best to please you in more ways
*

The result of being ungrateful is that your husband will be disappointed and will start asking himself: "Why should I do good to her, if she never appreciates?"

8. Devotion and Loyalty

*

In particular in times of calamities in your husband's body or business e.g. an accident or a bankruptcy
*

Supporting him through your own work, money, and properties if needed.

9. Compliance to Him

*

In all what he commands you, unless it is prohibited (Haram)
*

In Islam, the husband is the leader of the family, and the wife is his support and consultant.

10. Pleasing Him If He Is Angry

First off, try to avoid what will guarantee his anger. But if it happens that you can't, then try to appease him as follows:

*

If you were mistaken, then apologize
*

If he was mistaken then:
Keep still instead of arguing or
Yield you right or
Wait until he is no longer angry and discuss the matter peacefully with him.
*

If he was angry because of external reasons then:
Keep silent until his anger goes
Find excuses for him, e.g. tired, problems at work, someone insulted him
*

Do not ask many questions and insist on knowing what happened e.g.
1) You should tell me what happened!
2) I must know what made you so angry!
3) You are hiding something, and I have the right to know!

11. Guardianship While He is Absent

*

Protect yourself from any prohibited relations
*

Keep the secrets of the family, particularly intercourse and things that the husbands don't like other people to know.
*

Take care of the house and children.
*

Take care of his money and properties
*

Do not go out of your house without his permission and put on full hijaab
*

Refuse people whom he does not like to come over
*

Do not allow any non-mahram man to be alone with you in any place
*

Be good with his parents and relatives in his absence

12. Showing Respect for his Family and Friends

*

You should welcome his guests and try to please them, especially his parents.
*

You should avoid problems as much as you can with his relatives.
*

You should avoid putting him is a position where he had to choose between his mother and his wife
*

Show good hospitality for his guests by arranging a nice place for them to sit in, perfection of food, welcoming their wives, etc.
*

Encourage him to visit his relatives and invite them to your home
*

Phone his parents and sisters, send letters to them, buy gifts for them, support them in calamities, etc...

13. Admirable Jealousy

*

Jealousy is a sign for wife's love for her husband but it should be kept within the limits of Islam, e.g. not insulting or backbiting others disrespecting them, etc…
*

You should not follow or create unfounded doubts.

14. Patience and Emotional Support

*

Be patient when you face poverty and strained circumstances.
*

When you face calamities and disasters that may happen to you, your husband, his and your children, relatives or properties, e.g. diseases, accidents, death, etc.
*

When facing hardships in Da'wah (imprisonment, getting fired, arrested etc.
*

Be patient and encourage him to keep on the path of Allah and remind him of Paradise.
*

When he mistreats you, counteract his ill-treatment by good treatment.

15. Support in Obedience to Allah, Da'wah and Jihad

*

Cooperate with your husband and remind him of different obligatory and voluntary worships.
*

Encourage him to pray at night.
*

Listen and reciting the Qur'aan individually and with your husband.
*

Listen to Islamic tapes and songs individually and with your husband.
*

Remember Allah subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa, much, particularly after Fajr and before Maghrib.
*

Share in arranging Da'wah activities for women and children.
*

Learn Islamic rules (ahkaam) and good manners ('adab) for women.
*

Support your husband's activities by encouraging him, offering wise opinions, soothing his pains, etc.
*

Yielding some of your rights and a part of your time with your husband for Da'wah
*

Encourage him to go for Jihad when needed and remind him that you and children will be in the preservation of Allah, subhaanahu wa ta'aalaa.

16. Good Housekeeping

*

Keep it clean, decorated and well arranged
*

Change house arrangements from time to time to avoid boredom
*

Perfect food (preparation) and prepare healthy foods
*

Learn all the necessary skills for managing the house, e.g. sewing
*

Learn how to raise children properly and in an Islamic way.

17. Preservation of Finances and the Family

*

Do not spend from his money, even for charity without his permission unless you are sure that he agrees on this.
*

Protect his house, car, etc. while he is absent.
*

Keep the children in good shape, clean clothes, etc. Take care of their nutrition, health, education, manners, etc. Teach them Islam and tell them the stories of the Prophets and companions.



Finally, please make Du'a for the writer; Sheikh Mohammad Abdelhaleem Hamed for the translator brother Abu Talhah, and for the reviewer, brother Adam Qurashi. Remember this is not a perfect translation so forgive us our faults and correct our errors. Muslim Students' Association University of Alberta Edmonton, Canada February, 1999

Taken from : Al-Haramain.org Newsletter

(12 comments | comment on this)

Saturday, July 30th, 2005
8:02 am - Assalamualaykum.. e-book

ckeytee
~*~ E-book : 27 Notes on Marriage & Wedding ~*~

wrote by :

Shaykh Muhammad Naasirudden al-Albaani


All praise is due to Allah, the One who said in the clear verses of His
Book:

"And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among
yourselves, that ye may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put
love and mercy between your (hearts): Verily in that are Signs for
those who reflect".[al-Room 30:21]

May the prayers and peace of Allah be upon His Prophet Muhammad, the
one who said in an authenticated hadeeth : "Marry the loving and fertile,
for I will compete with the other Prophets with the number of my
followers on the Day of Qiyama". [Ahmad and at-Tabaarani with hasan isnaad.
And declared saheeh from Anas by Ibn Hibbaan. And it has witnesses which
will be mentioned in Question 19]

After this opening: There are in Islam, certain etiquettes upon anyone
who marries and wishes to consummate his marriage with his wife. Most
Muslims today, even those who exert themselves in Islamic worship, have
either neglected or become totally ignorant of these Islamic
etiquettes. Therefore, I decided to write this beneficial treatise clearly
explaining these issues on the occasion of marriage of someone dear to me. I
hope that it will be an aid to him and to other believing brothers in
carrying out what the Chief of the Messengers has ordained on the
authority of the Lord of the Worlds. I have followed that by pointing out Read more...Collapse )

(1 comment | comment on this)

Tuesday, July 12th, 2005
12:22 am - Assalamualaykum warrah matullahi wabarakatuh.. continuation of Health in Marriage

ckeytee

Bismillahirahmanirahim.. In the Name of Allah the Most Compassionate and the Most Merciful.

DELIVERY & CONFINEMENT

  • Azan & Iqamah to the newborn
  • Circumcision (male)
  • Tahniq, Aqiqah (honey - tahniq) - on the pallet of child
  • Ensuring good breast feeding practices
  • Confinement rituals (khurafat)
  • Post delivery depression/psychosis. Spouse support is vital.

ABORTION

  • Unwanted pregnancy is un-natural
  • Life is sacred; fetus is human being + has rights
  • Adultery; Zina - Most common sexual perversion. And the most common cause of unwanted pregnancy.
  • Permissible if risk to mother outweighs fetal rights.

CONTRACEPTION

  • Prevention of unwanted pregnancy. Clear intention of delaying child birth / birth spacing.
  • Mutual agreement by both partners.
  • Shouldn't be permanent & irreversible
  • Shouldn't destroy life of the zygote or fetus. Shouldn't encourage immorality or in any way be conducive to spread of evil.

CONTRACEPTION CONTINUATION ... METHODS:

  • Biological - Coitus interruptus (prophibited without wife's permission)

                          - Rhythm method (needs regular menstrual cycle)

                          - Continuous breast feeding (anovulatory)

  • Hormonal - Oral vs Depo
  • IUCD - Prohibited

INFERTILITY

  • IVF (In Vitro Fertilization) - Is permitted if the sperm & ovumare from legally wedded husband & wife & zygote is planted in the same wife.Read more...Collapse )


current mood: sleepy

(1 comment | comment on this)

Sunday, July 10th, 2005
11:35 pm - Assalamualaykum,.. HEALTH IN MARRIAGE

ckeytee

by Dr Kamarul Azahar Bin Mohd Razali

WHAT IS HEALTH?



current mood: alhamdulilah

(comment on this)

11:04 pm - Continuation of Ideal Muslimah to Her Husband

ckeytee

She endears herself to her husband and is keen to please him Read more...Collapse )

(comment on this)

11:01 pm - Assalamualaykum.. taken from The IDEAL MUSLIMAH by Dr. Muhammad Ali Al-Hashimi

ckeytee

The Muslim Women and Her Husband

http://www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/humanrelations/womeninislam/idealmuslimah/

Marriage in Islam Read more...Collapse )

(comment on this)

Thursday, June 30th, 2005
5:51 pm - Lecture
ghareebah "The Cherished Wife, The Appreciated Husband"
by Ustaadh Muhammad AlShareef
Scheduled at: Tuesday, July 26, 2005 at 6:30 PM EST
http://www.emanrush.com/default.aspx

(comment on this)

Monday, June 27th, 2005
9:53 pm - Characteristics of a Pious Husband

r_u_a_penguin
title or description

Consider not that Allâh is unaware of that which the Zâlimûn (polytheists, wrong-doers, etc.) do, but He gives them respite up to a Day when the eyes will stare in horror. 14:42

Read MoreCollapse )


current mood: tired

(2 comments | comment on this)

Sunday, June 26th, 2005
6:26 pm - Characteristics of a Pious Wife

r_u_a_penguin
title or description


Verily, the Muslims (those who submit to Allâh in Islâm) men and women, the believers men and women (who believe in Islâmic Monotheism), the men and the women who are obedient (to Allâh), the men and women who are truthful (in their speech and deeds), the men and the women who are patient (in performing all the duties which Allâh has ordered and in abstaining from all that Allâh has forbidden), the men and the women who are humble (before their Lord Allâh), the men and the women who give Sadaqât (i.e. Zakât, and alms, etc.), the men and the women who observe Saum (fast) (the obligatory fasting during the month of Ramadân, and the optional Nawâfil fasting), the men and the women who guard their chastity (from illegal sexual acts) and the men and the women who remember Allâh much with their hearts and tongues. Allâh has prepared for them forgiveness and a great reward (i.e. Paradise). 33:35

Read MoreCollapse )


current mood: thoughtful

(comment on this)

Monday, June 20th, 2005
9:00 pm - The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands
ghareebah A Book Review

Dr. Laura Schlesinger, a self-proclaimed conservative talk show host recently published “The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands,” a sort of handbook proclaiming the merits of treating men with respect and care. Dr. Laura, herself a Jew, draws upon biblical narrative, and mostly anecdotal discussions to let women know that they have gone terribly wrong in the way they treat their husbands.

Despite the fact that she issues women in general a sober scolding for being spiteful nags, her book has a loyal following, and her points are basic. She insists that a husband be respected, fed well, given “guy time” to himself, and given free access to “intimacy” with his wife. The more I read this book, the more I realized that many Muslim families living in the West could indeed benefit from these points as well. Dr. Laura's outline sounds simple enough; Yet why must these things even be said? What is the status of American families in regard to the treatment of men as husbands? And how does this reflect upon the bond between a man and his wife in a Muslim family?

Read MoreCollapse )

(3 comments | comment on this)

8:00 pm - Assalamualaykum "The Righteous Hubby" and "The Pious Wife"

ckeytee

Bismillaah ar-Rahmaan ar-Raheem
Assalamu'alaikum wa rahmatullaahi wa baraakatu


The Pious Wife
by Abu Jameelah



Marriage to her is one half of the deen,
The benefit Allah has put in her is yet to be seen*.
She wears her hijab for her Lord, to please and obey,
She turns to Allah for salaah at least five times each day.
She prays in the night and makes sure to awake you,
And sprinkles you with water if sleep should overtake you.
She protects her chastity with firmness because she does not desire,
To displease Allah and end up in the tormenting fire.
She asks the people who know when matters need to be rectified,
She is not blinded by self righteousness and foolish pride.
She is humble and kind to her husband as Allah has commanded,
Never leaving him alone, isolated, nor stranded.
She only responds, for Allah's Sake in the manner which is best,
Not resisting her husband when he makes a reciprocal request.
She takes care of herself and never ceases to try,
To beautify herself and her character so to please his eye.
She is a pleasure Allah has given to us in this life,
Be thankful to Allaah alone for His blessing, THE PIOUS WIFE.

The Righteous Husband
                    
by Abu Jameelah


He is a protector and like a lion when the need should arise,
Abusiveness and oppresion is not that upon which his manhood relies.
His words are kind, gentle, and soft upon her ear,
Yet clearly spoken and loud enough for her heart to hear.
He comes home to his wife with contentment and anticipation,
Being very attentive to her needs, endowing upon her total elation.
He fears his Lord, The Most Merciful and Sublime,
By being mindful and aware of how he provides her the time,
To have peace and relaxation of her soul, her body, and her mind.
He is the friend and companion the one whom she will always admire,
Protecting not only himself but also her from the fire.
He is the one who's hard to find all throughout the land,
The favor and blessing from her Lord, The Righteous Husband.


www.salafitalk.net
w/salam


Ayesha

(comment on this)

Saturday, June 18th, 2005
8:25 pm - Assalamualaykum

ckeytee
i have yet to put more about Health in Marriage etc. I hope all these topics and others will be of benefit to me and others too, insha'allah. Anyone wanna else share are most welcome..
salam, Ayesha

(comment on this)

Sunday, June 12th, 2005
2:00 am - Assalamualaykum

ckeytee
i'm your mod.. i need to sleep.
peace
salam, Ayesha

(comment on this)


> top of page
LiveJournal.com